High Infidelity


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Posted by Wayne Hetman on 03/04/02 - 15:54:28
IP: 207.105.34.2 Browser: Mozilla/4.51 [en] (Win95; I)


Message Body

-a fragment-

B: Can I ask you a couple questions?

W7:  Sure, why not?

B: Have you ever cheated on a lover?

W7:  Whoa...I can see this is going to be a Connie Chung type coversation!  Okay, give me a minute... Yes, once a long time ago I tried a balancing act with two lovers... and I'm taking your question to mean two lovers that don't know about each other..I thought it would be cool to try, like pouring wine from one cup to the other and back again.  But lying becomes a big part of that kind of relationship.  You know "What are you doing this weekend?"  "House cleaning" or "Educational conference" "How was the conference" "Oh, I learned alot!"  Beside being unfair to the two parties it did hell with my conscience because I'm basically a lover of truth.  Then the lies get even more Byzantine to cover up mistakes.  And its alot harder to bring closure to relationships like this.  When the one found out about the other:What a mess!  Let's just say "Done that and Don't like it".

B: What did your wife think about this?

W7:  I'm not married.

B: Wait a minute here, what was all this stuff about "I'm a happily married man..."

W7:  -uh- I don't understand. Can you rephrase the question?  Are you asking me have I ever imagined that I'm married to someone?

B: Yes.

W7:  Oh, all the time! and with several different people.. when I was young it started out with Liz Taylor.  About that time she was making "Cleopatra" and my wall was covered  with photos of her from the movie.  What a gorgeous woman!  I had this photo of her in the bath tub scene "Oh baby, if I were your hubby..."  But the best was when she was dressed all in gold.  The more beautiful the woman the more gold they should wear, don't you think?  Let's not get into the psychological stuff, as sick a man as Goldfinger was, there is just something sexy about a naked woman in gold paint.  Besides you should know better than to ask me a question about my imagination-

B: Just how do you behave with an "imagination" like yours?

W7:  Look- I once loved someone, you know, but she had issues of infidelity.  Not that she was, but that others around her were, treating her pretty bad, an ex-husband, ect.,ect.,... Honesty is one of those things along with having common interests and mutual respect that keeps the passion alive in a relationship.  Well I pretended that I was married- alot of people do this, even gay men wear rings to show they are unavailable-  Then I told her that I liked cheating on my wife-  Then I asked her to cheat with me...

B: What a low down, dirty, trick...

W7:  You have to understand, I was hoping to bring these issues to the table for discussion.  I felt I would never have a chance with her if she still carried all this baggage about "cheating husbands".  So it was more a semi-low, well intentioned, trick.  I figured if I failed, well.. let's just call it a work in progress.

B: So, you were just manipulating her feelings?

W7:  You mean like in "Monster's Ball" when my emotions are going first this way- then that way?  Halle Berry really delivers the goods though, doesn't she?  yeah... now about my behavior, let's just say: When you love somebody you do strange things sometimes.  Haven't you?

B: I... so "Learning by doing" is just a piece of crap?

W7:  Actually, it's mostly true to my feelings, the only "little untruth" is the part about being married.  When I wrote that I wasn't directing it at anyone specifically.  That piece started out as a response to Kevin's Macho postering.  I thought he needed a lesson by example- let's write about the perfect marriage.  Besides I'm on a promoting marriage kick right now.  You know, it's the next best thing to being alone.  Then I thought about  all the reasons that marriages go wrong and tried to reverse that- I decided to take on the role-in essence creating a perfect 10 "husband".  I tried to be thorough- money- family- high infidelity-  I'm sure I still missed a few things.  I reread, revised, reread, rewrote...  But it had an unforseen negative reflection on the Malibu Barbie story that I'm not quite happy about.

B: What about Malibu Barbie?

W7:  Yeah, what about her...the Malibu Barbie image always reminds me of "Baywatch" or that movie.."Malibu Beach Muscle",.. or is it "Malibu Beach Boobs"?....something like that..  It's the whole idea of changing yourself to achieve this perfect "look".  I'm a naturalist though, I just take people as they come.  Liposuction, plastic implants, face lifts, hair dyes of various colors, tatoos of eyebrows and lips, and thats just for the men; stuff like that cracks me up!  I dread the day that some man invents a device to sew into your butt, so you can pass gas without a smell.  When the human race finds out they can fart without fear of destroying the ozone layer, he's going to be the richest guy on the planet.

B:  ?

W7:  Back to the Barbie image.  Did you see Bob Mackie's "Queen of Hearts" Barbie.  Black hair, all in RED-  Va Va Va Voom>>>>


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