02/01/02 - 08:25:53
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1. A termite walks up to a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"|
2. A pie walks into a bar and orders a drink. The barman says, "I'm sorry , we don't serve food"
3. A guy walks into a pub. The landlord says, "What are you having, sir?". The man replies "I'll have a pint of bitter please". The landlord pours it out. "That'll be 2.20 please".
The man says - "Oh no...you were buying me this - you asked me what i was having!". The landlord replies - "That's just a figure of speech, that'll be 2.20!"
An arguement ensues - (the teller of the joke can spin this out awhile if the audience seems attentive.)
The landlord eventually says "THATS IT - OUT YOU GO - YOU ARE BANNED FROM MY PUB!"
Next day the guy walks in and the landlord spots him and says - "Oh no you don't! - you're banned for trying to wangle free drinks etc"
The man looks shocked "I think you've made a mistake - I've never been here before in my life"
"Really?" the landlord asks.
"Honestly" replies the guy.
(You can spin this out here too for realism...)
The landlord looks amazed and says" That's incredible, you must have a double!"
"Thanks - make it a scotch", the guy replies.
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