XRX's surefire lines for Internet dating ...

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Posted by kevin XRX schmidt on 01/25/02 - 21:54:05
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W7... I covered my bases with the ex-wife thing.  On the Internet where I troll for babes, I let them know up front I'm divorced.  Besides, the babes all have ex hubbies.  So its cool with them.  See, we are all ex's and our ex's should be like our asses, behind us.  And that's the way it is with Internet dating.  

Babes also love a sense of humor.  They don't care about the fresh catch or kill of the day.  They want someone who is exceptionally handsome, charming, intelligent, with a wild and wicked sense of humor (I got it all).  Babes love to laugh!!!  I make em laugh and scream and they love ME!!!  Here's my sure fire Internet pickup line for babes.  Its real and it works.  And Y'all thought I was just a figment of A-Deck ...  WRONG!!!  I'm the same kevin R schmidt in the [real world] and the A-Deck world.  


Have you noticed that when you meet someone for the first time they always seem to be normal until you get to know them better?

If your looking to meet someone who mountain bikes down dirt trails standing on their head while clenching the handle bars in their teeth, playing the violin with one hand, reading the latest options with their Palm Pilot in the other, and wearing a wireless cellphone headset so they can place an order with their broker. Afterwards, hanging out at the gym bragging about the trip to the south of France for wine tasting after their networth tops a bazillion dollars. They've never been to Napa and the furthest east they ever traveled was to Paris, Texas...on and on and on.... Nor do I pretentiously walk into coffee shops, restaurants, and stores rudely subjecting patrons to my health hazard flea-bitten canine fashion statement. And I do not drive about town with a slobbering beast in the front seat. Nor will I wear multicolored spandex exposing a gut the size of Rhode Island while riding a bicycle around town, coughing up a lung, and backing up traffic. If those are the qualities your looking for, well I'm a loser (oh the trauma!!!).

I'm a very down-to-earth person with no patience or tolerance for liars, politicians, liberals, conservatives, vegetarians (I like red meat & milk-fed veal, thank you), selfish people, and metaphysicist.  I know what I want (and don't want), and am willing to work for what I want. I use humor to deal with everything. If you can't laugh at situation, no matter how bad it is, you might as well be hanging with Elvis. I've been told my humor is politically incorrect by Bay Area standards and that is not a problem for me. But if it is for you there are plenty of granola munching tree-hugging spineless jelly fish out there for you to emasculate. Besides, I'm originally from Na Joisey, tawk normal, dwink caufee, and I don't care what the neighbors think!

Yeah like I m really going to bring a first date to a Monster Truck & Pull Show to make a stellar impression.

Trust me guys, this really works ...

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