Agent C's Surveillance Report on 2400 Fulton


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Posted by Cricket on 01/01/02 - 21:33:48
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Message Body

SHIFT REPORT:  Sir, I can confidently say that the mansion has made no move on my watch.  When I leave once a day to get coffee & donuts, I place a small cube of sugar on the sidewalk just where the curb meets the street, so that if a single column tries to move, I will know it.  It has not happened.  They (the columns) know I am there, and they are staying put.  

PSYCHIATRIC REPORT:  Previous evaluations noted that 2400 fell into a depression after having been painted white.  Neighbors reportedly were pleased, particularly those who took the transformation to mean that Satan had moved elsewhere.

On Haight street, rumors abound that 2400 is appalled to look so conventional; doesn't understand what happened; and is not in fact white but deathly pale, pining for its former occupants.

Denizens of the Haight periodically report that late at night, screams can be heard from the room that formerly housed the Airplane's torture rack.  Agency evaluators have investigated these claims on several occasions and found no sign of criminal paranormal activity.  They have proposed the more mundane (and credible) explanation, that 2400 simply does not LIKE the music played by the current occupants and is choosing to express itself in what LILY-PAD (a local center for dysfunctional architecture) describes as an immature and provocative manner characteristic of adolescent mansions.  Appropriate referrals are pending.

Respectfully submitted,

Agent C


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